Working out and getting sexy

You wanna know the best part about working out at least 3 times a week, being a BIT more careful of what you eat, and watching portions?

Gaining weight!  And having jeans fit ... tighter!  It'spectacular!  I just love it when hard work DOESN'T pay off!  Eets de BHEEEEST!

That's my life though right now.  In lots of different aspects even!  My new calling in church (after I got fired from being the Ward Camp director, prolly for swearing in front of the youth and chewing a cook out) is playing the organ.  When I got the calling, I had never before even sat at an organ, much less knew where the power button was much less knew what "swell" and "great" meant and which tabs to push ...

They gave me the calling as punishment, pure and simple.  You swear in front of the youth, you're screwed.

Anyways, so I have been practicing and practicing and sometimes NOT practicing at all for this calling.  And I still suck.

I've been quilting now for ... 15 years and this week made one of the ugliest quilts I've ever made but couldn't tell until it was done.

We had the missionaries over for dinner.  Got on the topic of sports and I said that what I hated about football was, "I don't know what to yell from the sidelines!  I know what to yell at soccer and bball games, but not football..." to which Addi goes, "Yeah, you know what to yell ... swear words!"  (I obviously have a mouth...)

We've been doing nightly scripture and prayer as a family now for ... 18 plus years.  The other night we were discussing God's hand in our lives and how we can recognize it and learn to follow His inspirations to us.  Kind of ... important stuff.

Immediately a discussion ensued, started by the girls.

"Why is the alphabet in the order it's in?  Who said that A needed to be first?"  And then they started singing the alphabet in a jumbled order.

Oh, and I made dinner ... the "be amazing and make enough to have dinners ready for the next 3 years" kind of prep.  To make it even more amazing, it was a Pinterest recipe.

We've had take out the past several nights cuz ... it's disgusting and I wasted like 3 flats of chicken breast.

Point being ... sometimes and for me, it seems a LOT of the time, hard work just doesn't seem to pay off.  Why the crap why???  Am I just doing EVERYTHING wrong?  The forces of nature can't be THAT much against me!  Am I just meant to fail?  Because in all these very TRUE and accurate examples, believe me when I say, I give it my ALL.  Is my all just ... jacked up?

Here's the thing though.  Last month I went to the temple (in Spokane for any non Mormons/LDS/Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints people reading this) and the HUGE blast from Heaven inspiration that I got, right in front of my face was ... GRACE.

I found it interesting that, at the beginning of the year, when I went to the temple feeling like I was as successful as a snowflake on a grill, that it was GRACE that I was reminded of.

Heavenly Father so kindly reminded me that, "you do everything you can do and I'll take care of the rest."  And it hits me again, "maybe I suck so bad at things so I get the BLESSING of seeing His hand THAT MUCH CLEARER in my life?!"  I mean, I haven't SEEN things yet (regarding the situations I wrote about) but I also need to have FAITH in His GRACE.

I read a quote (i'm fixen to slaughter it cuz it's the brain I have) that went something like, "If your best is 1%, God makes up the 99%.  If your best is 99%, God makes up the 1% ... it doesn't matter to Him.  Just do your best and He'll complete it for you..."

There are so many stories in the scriptures that show this.  Nephi and the ship.  Gideon and his 300.  The captain in Matthew who asked Christ to heal his son.  Actually ... the scriptures are SATURATED with God's GRACE.  I mean, that's the whole reason Christ even came to this Earth.  So He can help us, save us, with GRACE.

I can only do so much.  I can only do my best.  I can only just keep going.  One foot in front of the other.  One work out after another.  And then leave it up to Christ to help me.  And it requires faith on my part, especially when my "hard work" doesn't pay off.  So just keep going.  Just.  Keep.  Going.  And not quitting.  What can the Lord do with quitters?  When the dude in the New Testament got his 1 talent and buried it ... How can the Lord bless that?  This particular servant simply showed that he DID NOT KNOW his Master.  He was fearful of him.  He didn't trust him.

So when you see me walking around all skinny and sexy, you can know that yeah, grace worked!  (JK!!!!  If that does happen, it's just cuz you saw me from far away and upon closer observation, it ... wasn't me...) LOL LOL LOL!

OK, for real.  I don't know why I chose to write about this.  Mostly so my kids can one day read it and know that if things aren't going the way they hoped, even after a bunch of hard work and prayers, it's OK!  Just keep swimming.  Grace will be given to you ... it's a promise!  Good things will happen.  Just don't give up.  That's it.

Speaking of.  It's past midnight and Gideon hasn't given up on staying awake.  How is he still awake?!  Good night!