Most important things

One night, a couple of years ago, I was up ... super late ... and I heard these weird sounds coming from one of the kids' rooms.  It was sorta like ripping sounds, but not really.  I went to investigate, kinda mad that anyone was up at that hour, and found Owen working hard at a balled up mess of vinyl.  A kind couple in the ward had given us these vinyl decals (birds on branches) which I had put up in the girls room.  Apparently Addi had tried to move them to another wall but instead made a huge mess of the decals and in her frustration, just balled it all up and threw it away.

Owen was working on "unraveling" the ball and putting the decals back up on the wall.  I asked him why he was doing it.  His simple yet sincere answer was, "Because Addi loves this and I love Addi."

I was floored and so moved with the deepest sense of love and gratitude and INSIGHT as to who Owen really is.  We worked together for about 2 hours (there is NO WAY this kid could've done it himself!) but we got it unraveled and back up on the wall.  Owen was so pleased with it and so excited for his sister to see it in the morning.

Before we moved, I took one of those bird decals off and saved it.  I'll never ever forget that night.

The way Owen treated Addi ... I'd give the world to that boy.

As the kids and I studied Matthew 5 (sermon on the mount) I couldn't help but wonder, "why isn't THIS emphasized more in church, in YW and in YM..."  I mean, these are the LITERAL words coming out of the Lord's mouth.  "Blessed are the poor in spirit, they that mourn, the meek, they which hunger and thirst after righteousness, the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers, they which are persecuted for righteous sake..."

I mean, every girl ages 12 and up can recite the YW's theme, but can they list off the 8 Beatitudes?  Not saying that the theme is wrong, but ... I mean, these are Christ's actual words.  Just sayin'.

THIS is what's important to Christ.  HOW WE TREAT EACH OTHER and BEING HUMBLE. And being humble is NOT synonymous with doormat.  Not at all.  What Owen did for his sister.  He wasn't putting himself below her.  He wasn't playing the righteous martyr.  He was simply treating her in the purest, most loving, selfless way.  And it made me so happy.  So incredibly happy.  So of course, our Heavenly Father will feel this way when we do the same for others.

When we studied this sermon, I asked the kids what described them best and what described them not at all.  It was different for each of them.  And then they actually described each other using these descriptions.  Mostly they were the same.  

I'm standing on my soap box this evening as I type this.  I truly feel like how we treat others is the actual "oil in the lamps" of the 10 virgins.  So many say, "the 5 foolish wanted to borrow extra oil but ... you can't borrow a testimony."

I have to say, I disagree with this.  I'd say instead, "the 5 foolish wanted to borrow oil, but you can't borrow the seconds, minutes, hours, weeks, years that others spend taking care of other people."

Some people don't have testimonies.  Some people have no idea who Christ is.  But those same people will help a friend in need, will be loving and accepting of your sexual identity, will leave a big tip for a struggling waitress.  Even if they don't believe in God, in Christ, I do.  And I KNOW that Christ will "... for theirs is the kingdom of heaven, they shall be comforted, they shall inherit the earth, they shall be filled, they shall obtain mercy, they shall see God, they shall be called the children of God..."

It's all about how you treat yourself, how you treat others.  And being humble.  I truly believe this...

Matthew 4 Fasted 40 and satan's boldness

So in this chapter, we studied how Christ fasted for 40 days and right after this sacrifice, He's tempted by satan.

He's fasting, bonding with His Heavenly Father, and as soon as He's done, satan tempts Him to eat.  Then to basically kill Himself.  And then to worship him.

We talked about this a little and I think about this a lot.  The boldness of satan and how, we're never protected from his temptations.  No matter our experiences, no matter our devotion to Heavenly Father, no matter our goodness.

So many times in my life I've said to Heavenly Father, "I'm trying so hard.  I just want to do what is right.  But satan is so in my face...and I'm almost giving up..."

Satan will tempt us with our "mortal needs."  Christ was for sure hungry, so satan tempted Him with satisfying that hunger.  For me, the mortal needs here would be addiction.  I have to admit, I have an addictive personality.  I can't just make 1 quilt a year, I have to make 500.  That's why I won't gamble even once.  I know me.  I don't care if my BFF gambles.  Or others around me.  They just don't have the addictive personality that I do! ;)

Satan will tempt us in our thoughts, in our deepest darkest corners of our minds.  That's where I put the "cast thyself down... He shall give his angels charge concerning thee ... lest an any time thou dash thy foot against a stone..."  (I sense satan's sarcastic jealousy...)  Not just suicidal thoughts, but like I said, my thoughts of giving up.  How many times have the thoughts, "you have wasted your time as a mother!" as my kid swears with his friends, or I sit in church with half my kids trying to sleep the hour away and the other half trying to be sneaky on their phones (their success at being stealth is only my sympathizing "yeah, this IS boring!"). I could go on but won't.

Satan will tempt us in our successes.  "...and sheweth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them..."  saying, "All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me"
I'm not talking seance type thing or making weird satanic deals with the devil.  That for me wouldn't even be a temptation.  But enter pride, enter back patting because that checklist is 100% checked off.  Enter "I'm super duper special..."

I mean, I'll admit.  When I DO have a check list for the day and I can check em all off, I'm doing cartwheels!!  But ... you get what I'm saying.  Care in not letting that REALLY get into the head...

I said earlier that we're never protected FROM satan, but guess what?  We ALWAYS have power OVER satan.  It says so right in this chapter.  Christ commands satan to depart and he has to listen.  It's bascially, what will we do with our free agency.  Listen to satan, or cast him from us?

And I don't think it's an all or nothing thing.  That's where shame enters and shame is always satan's tool.  Or that's where pride enters.  And that's always satan's tool, too.  What I mean here is, sometimes we fail and sometimes we succeed in these areas of temptation.  But I don't think that identifies who we are.  I think it's just a constant battle, day in and day out, sometimes we lose.  Sometimes we win.  But I think the most important verb here is "BATTLE."

If satan had the audacity to tempt the Savior of the world after a 40 day fast, bonding with Heavenly Father...of course he's going to have the audacity, stamina and slyness to tempt us at all times, at all levels.  And thanks to this chapter, we can learn that we DO have the power to overcome him, to cast him out.

And what happened right after this battle between Christ and satan?  Christ begins to gather His disciples and begins to teach His gospel, which includes lots of miracles.  So wouldn't this be the same for us?  When we find ourselves in super tough times, if we just move forward, there will be great rewards.  Even miracles at our hands.

Many times I've found myself in mental or emotional or even physical battles with something!  Doubt, feeling overwhelmed, frustrations with my broken down knees and shoulder...but ... it's been my experience that I can always see God's hand in my life.  Always.  Always!!!!  Through my sister, my friends, through reading something, even strangers!

Look for God's hand.  It's like that "I spy" game.  It may be hard at first, but you get pro at it the longer you practice it...

Yeah, I'm back again ... we'll see for how long ...

... because I keep forgetting my passwords!!

I seriously stopped blogging because ... drum roll ... I couldn't remember my password and I didn't want to start a new blog because, who does that?  Start a new blog when blogging is totally a thing of the past all because of a password that's OBVIOUSLY a thing of my waaaayyy past.  So far past that I can't remember it. 

And this makes blog #3 FOR THE SAME EXACT REASON!

Check out:  mother25/8  and theyallyours

Both my blogs.  That I walked away from because I couldn't remember my password...

Oh well.  New chapter in my life anyways.

It's 2018.  My oldest is looking at graduating high school, my youngest is looking at changing the world, one laugh attack at a time.  Life is good.  Not easy, but good. 

This school year started with me pulling my 3 oldest out of seminary.  This was an act of God.  My oldest boys hate seminary.  Religion is as important to them as learning ballet.  And it was affecting my 3rd who was going to seminary for the 1st time.  She'd get maybe, 10 minutes of the 45 minute class each day.  They're her ride to school so yeah, they'd pull her out to go to school.  One day I had enough and I drove to the high school and pulled the boys out to chew them out in the parking lot.

To chew them out for not going to seminary.

And here's why I went with absolute no idea as to what I was going to say.

Who chews their kids out for not going to religious classes?

God is a god of agency.  Satan wanted to remove agency from the plan.  So by chewing my kids out for practicing their religious agency in a way I didn't agree with ... how Christ-like is that?  Parents are to guide, right?  My kids have guidance.  They just don't like what I'm guiding.  So when they don't like it ... enter force?  Enter my agenda?  Enter guilt or shame?  Enter my pride? 

I had no idea what I was going to say to the boys.  I feel that it's important for my kids to learn who God is, to recognize His whispers, His workings in their lives, His hand, His existence ... His LOVE for them, and I felt that going to seminary was a GREAT WAY to learn this.  But they hate seminary.  So now what?

They came to the car to meet me, their mom who was practically yelling at God to "help me out here!  Fill my mouth with what I need to say to these strong, gifted, sweet boys of mine who are forcing me to have suicidal thoughts!"  The first words that came to my mouth were, "I'm pulling you out of seminary.  And instead we're studying seminary together."  There may have been some expletives added in there ... my bad. 

That was a shocker.  Because now this meant, I needed to study the scriptures.  And get up early.  Which meant missing some of my gym time.

What was another shocker ... the boys agreed ... with zero kick back. 

I was then given another piece of inspiration.  "Let them pick what to study."  This was a bit tough for me because they were studying the Doctrine and Covenants and if we DIDN'T study this, they would not graduate from seminary.  The second this thought went through my head, I heard a literal voice in my head say, "graduating seminary is not important."

The voice was almost a command actually.
They picked the New Testament.  "Because we have never studied it."
Actually, you have.  In seminary.  You just weren't there mentally.  Obviously.

And it is because of this "alternate seminary" class that we're doing (my daughter, after a week of us doing our seminary, decided to join us and quite going to seminary too) that I've decided to blog again.  I want to talk about life with 9 kids, with a child with Down Syndrome, in a religion where I LOVE the gospel but HATE the culture, but I want to add a lot of what I've learned by studying the scriptures with my kids.  Because it's been fascinating.

I know what I'm going to talk about for my 1st entry (after this one .... duhhhh) but it's pushing 1AM and I'm so tired.  So for now, good night.